Isabelle Min is a “Cultural Interpreter” specializing in cross-culture and communication. She is the Founder of the TCK Institute and Adjunct Professor at Sungkyunkwan University in Seoul, Korea. At TCK institute, she combines her multicultural upbringing with 25 years of professional experience in marketing, broadcasting, public relations, training, writing, interpreting and coaching to facilitate cross-cultural communication between Koreans and expats. She spent her formative years living in five continents and speaks 5 languages.
X-Expats: You repatriated to South Korea after living abroad for many years. What motivated you to return “home”?
Isabelle Min: I repatriated at the end of high school in the early 80s, at a time when Korea was transitioning from an underdeveloped to a developed country. By presidential mandate, all diplomats were ‘asked’ to have their children attend a university in Korea rather than one abroad. Though this was not mandatory, my parents complied as they considered this would help me create roots in my passport country. Initially, I lived with my grandmother and siblings. Later on, my brother and I were admitted to a special dormitory for diplomats’ kids where we lived for a year until my parents repatriated to Korea. Although I was glad to be ‘home,’ assuming that I was among my own people, repatriating was not my choice; remaining abroad would have been a too huge of a financial burden to my parents.
X-E: Which challenges and opportunities did you experience upon your re-entry?
IM: While abroad, I spoke my native language at home and read Korean magazines. Being fluent in Korean, I anticipated fitting in immediately. However, I soon realized that I was ‘different’ in many ways:
X-E: Would you consider another move abroad?
IM: I married a Korean who is very dedicated to his family. As a result, living abroad is not a choice for us. I compensate by traveling frequently and keeping in touch with many international friends. Even if I had a choice, I am not sure I would choose to move abroad now. For the first time in my life, I have been living in the same city and same home for over a decade. I enjoy watching my neighbors age as well as shopping at the same supermarket where the staff knows me!
X-E: In your opinion, does the direction of the journey (i.e. West to East, East to West) affect an individual’s experience of repatriation? Which additional factors may play a role?
IM: Definitely. My own repatriation as an Easterner raised in the West who repatriated in the East was quite different from the experience of those discussed in many of the TCK related literatures; including David Pollock & Ruth Van Reken’s “Third Culture Kids: Experience of Growing Among Worlds,” where American TCKs find their compatriots home show a lack of interest in their overseas experience. For me and others, coming home meant being singled out and envied. Several factors may play a role including whether:
Other factors such as one’s personal traits, family culture may affect the repatriation experience.
X-E: How would you describe the profile of returnees in South Korea?
IM: There are several profiles: Korean TCKs above 40 years old are typically children of diplomats or immigrants. Those whose age range from 30 to 40 are children of diplomats, immigrants, business executives or scholars. Those under 30 include all the above in addition to a large number number of individuals who went overseas to learn English and/or study at universities with English language instruction. This last group is now returning to Korea to seek jobs and settle there.
X-E: Do you have recommendations/suggestions for South Koreans who may consider returning?
IM: Understand that when you lived abroad, you didn’t just learn a new language, but also acquired another culture. Understand that your values are no longer the same as those of your parents. Especially, if you lived apart, you may have created a ‘fantasy’ image of your parents and/ or of your home country. Understand that your country and home culture ‘shifted’ during your absence and that you will find yourself as a ‘stranger/foreigner’ back home. Understand you could not have been ‘there’ whilst being ‘here.’ In other words, expect to lack the knowledge, skills, common sense of those who never left the place. Above all, be kind and understanding of your shortcomings. A final piece of advice: allow yourself plenty of time to readjust. Allow yourself to grieve the losses and don’t be ashamed of it! Meet with those who share similar experiences.
Isabelle Min: I repatriated at the end of high school in the early 80s, at a time when Korea was transitioning from an underdeveloped to a developed country. By presidential mandate, all diplomats were ‘asked’ to have their children attend a university in Korea rather than one abroad. Though this was not mandatory, my parents complied as they considered this would help me create roots in my passport country. Initially, I lived with my grandmother and siblings. Later on, my brother and I were admitted to a special dormitory for diplomats’ kids where we lived for a year until my parents repatriated to Korea. Although I was glad to be ‘home,’ assuming that I was among my own people, repatriating was not my choice; remaining abroad would have been a too huge of a financial burden to my parents.
X-E: Which challenges and opportunities did you experience upon your re-entry?
IM: While abroad, I spoke my native language at home and read Korean magazines. Being fluent in Korean, I anticipated fitting in immediately. However, I soon realized that I was ‘different’ in many ways:
- The girls’ high school uniform was uncomfortable, the short haircut looked funny and the shoes hurt.
- I found myself sitting on the steps of public squares, being waived off by guards as this was not appropriate or common at the time.
- I sat in the classroom ‘listening’ attentively to teachers but my mind could not ‘register’ their message until six months later; not due to a lack of understanding of what they said, but because I had never been taught in the Korean school system.
- I was singled out and envied as ‘that girl from abroad’ and students came to watch me eat during lunch time. I had a couple of girls seek me out to tell me ‘everyone hated me’ because I was only ‘hanging out’ with elite students (I had been assigned two top students as my school guides and these girls were envious).
X-E: Would you consider another move abroad?
IM: I married a Korean who is very dedicated to his family. As a result, living abroad is not a choice for us. I compensate by traveling frequently and keeping in touch with many international friends. Even if I had a choice, I am not sure I would choose to move abroad now. For the first time in my life, I have been living in the same city and same home for over a decade. I enjoy watching my neighbors age as well as shopping at the same supermarket where the staff knows me!
X-E: In your opinion, does the direction of the journey (i.e. West to East, East to West) affect an individual’s experience of repatriation? Which additional factors may play a role?
IM: Definitely. My own repatriation as an Easterner raised in the West who repatriated in the East was quite different from the experience of those discussed in many of the TCK related literatures; including David Pollock & Ruth Van Reken’s “Third Culture Kids: Experience of Growing Among Worlds,” where American TCKs find their compatriots home show a lack of interest in their overseas experience. For me and others, coming home meant being singled out and envied. Several factors may play a role including whether:
- The repatriating TCK brings home a “needed language” ( i.e. English to Korea ) versus a “needless language”
- The repatriating TCK perceives the importing (host) culture as a “mainstream” or a “marginal” one (i.e. a TCK coming from France or US returning to Korea versus a TCK coming from a developing country returning to Korea)
- The repatriating TCK’s physical traits blend or stand out back home
- The repatriating TCK is subject to envy or indifference by his/her peers home ; and
- The home culture demands conformity as a collective society or allows for individualistic orientation.
Other factors such as one’s personal traits, family culture may affect the repatriation experience.
X-E: How would you describe the profile of returnees in South Korea?
IM: There are several profiles: Korean TCKs above 40 years old are typically children of diplomats or immigrants. Those whose age range from 30 to 40 are children of diplomats, immigrants, business executives or scholars. Those under 30 include all the above in addition to a large number number of individuals who went overseas to learn English and/or study at universities with English language instruction. This last group is now returning to Korea to seek jobs and settle there.
X-E: Do you have recommendations/suggestions for South Koreans who may consider returning?
IM: Understand that when you lived abroad, you didn’t just learn a new language, but also acquired another culture. Understand that your values are no longer the same as those of your parents. Especially, if you lived apart, you may have created a ‘fantasy’ image of your parents and/ or of your home country. Understand that your country and home culture ‘shifted’ during your absence and that you will find yourself as a ‘stranger/foreigner’ back home. Understand you could not have been ‘there’ whilst being ‘here.’ In other words, expect to lack the knowledge, skills, common sense of those who never left the place. Above all, be kind and understanding of your shortcomings. A final piece of advice: allow yourself plenty of time to readjust. Allow yourself to grieve the losses and don’t be ashamed of it! Meet with those who share similar experiences.
